How hip am I ?

I am pretty hip. Im so hip I go to parties and I am on the guestlist. Im so hip that I can wear rubber boots to these ritzy Nightlife parties and its okay becaue obviously Im hip. If I werent hip it would be pretty uncool to wear rubber boots to a ritzy party. When there is free beer I am so hip that I sink 4 the first half hour because Im so hip I know it might run out. When it doesnt run out I am hip enough to keep drinking fast enough to be loaded by 7pm. Im so hip I can spot a shitty band when I see one. I know that a band is not hip if they have to stop their set because their cd walkman stops working. That is not hip. Im hip enough to know a band isnt just hip because they are energetic. Methamphetamines does not a hip band make. Im hip enough to know that BK has double cheese Thursdays. Im so hip that even when Im loaded I can still record some wicked tracks for The Harry Princes new album. Im so hip that my vocal stylings will be all over the place. Im so hip that I can get right bombed and pass out on the couch and its hip because I did it. Its not hip when you pass out drunk on the couch but you are not hip.