Flora you shrub hole

Scenario: go into a plant store and ask for a hardy plant that does not take much work and can suffer some neglect while only getting moderate office light.

How it plays out: green thumbed asshole tells you this plant is great for that. It doesnt even need to be watered-only misted a few times a week. Three weeks later there is a $30 pile of dirt in an ugly container by my window with some dried out pieces of shit hanging out of it. The plant was not even that nice to begin with, pretty boring but robust I thought so why did asshole steer me wrong? Next time I see that guy I am going to give him a nature wedgie with my dead plant.