I am very smart when drunk

I like to think when I am drunk that I have come up with great analogies and metaphors for things. I often try to summarize a period in my life with a drunken analogy and last night I thought I came up with a great one but as with all drunken revelations it does not seem so acutely accurate anymore.

I use to get a kick out of pissing on bar toilet seats just a little and now I concentrate as hard as I can just not to miss the bowl.