Jet setting is style

I was pretty damn bored today so I jotted down anything interesting that happened to me during my shift of soul disolving. Notice how nothing is actually intersting. If you actually make it through this whole thing you have less to be proud of than me. That is not meant to be self-depricating.

9:55 - arive at work, a lady is waiting outside to get in. We open up and let her in early, two other ladies join in and don't even let us get the register up before they are making returns and complaints.
10:25 - have a conversation with a co-worker who thinks she speaks english well but she doesn't, she doesn't speak to me in french either even though it is our best comon language. I hate speaking to her. She makes me feel dumb because she doesn't understand anything I say. She is an acrobat though so its explains alot.
10:43 - I am bored out of my mind, I start this list and consider defecating in my pants as a valid form of entertainment right now.
10:47 - watch the hand-car-wash guys accross the street. 6 of them have their deck chairs in a semi-circle. Who gets their car washed before noon on a Monday?
10:58- re-arange the Opinel knife case, fantasize about slashing a lady's arm when she totally ignores my 'bonjour'
11:08- watched a fat guy try on sunglasses. The all look small.
11:25- had a tutorial on electrical transformers and converters. Also served 2 ladies, my age and marveled at how unsocial people are to people in demeaning employments. At a coffee counter or wherehave you the jokes I was throwing would get a laugh at least but all the people I serve in the store feign deafness. I want to date their divorced mothers to show them real horror.
12:33 - flip up the ugliest faces on travel "Guess Who", damn Max is gross
1:20-2:30 - sit down and talk to my co-worker who I hate talking too. She talks about her past drug use, how she lived with a drug dealer and a very long story about a road trip to Florida and all the crazy, high things they did. She went to Epcot Center high. Wow.
2:45- served a low talker, I hate low talkers as much as mean old ladies now. Do they secretly want me to kiss them? Is that it?
2:50 -cleaned electronics with a vacuum cleaner
3:23 - put price tags on neck cooling ties
3:30 - refilled the stapler
3:31- tasted stapler on as many materials as possible, it will not penetrate hard plastic, Windex bottles for example
3:56- saw a lady trying on skorts walk around in her underwear (blue), she was old and it was disgusting. I dont want to see that. Why dont attractive, or at least not gross 45 year old ladies do that?
4:00- confide to my collegue that I would be happier if Oprah were dead. This came up after she kept mispronoucing opera. She was listening to shit radio all afternoon that played ethnic blends.
4:07- I got my revenge. All the pompous, rich, hatefull, self-inflated shits that come in and treat me like a dunce get their just when they ask to use our toilet. Its not for customers but we let them. Its sick, I would not let my mother ever use it. Its just small, dark, dank, dirty, out of toilet paper mostly and just something I know most of them are horrified to use. Screw them. I think I may start pissing on the seat. The lady with blue underwear's friend had to go.
4:31- listened to a Bostonian grandma tell me how we have to order portable potties for kids to pee in. She thinks its stupid for us not to carry them. Like I want anything to do with kids peeing.
5:08 - take out the garbage, I love cleaning up after people. UMMM garbage.
5:58- serve a slow talker, he asked the dummest questions about sleeping mask ever. Which one keeps the most light out? They are all the same moron. One is blue, one is black and this one is burgundy. He was in sweat pants and then asked me personal questions about my job before leading into asking about a possible position. I should of just said you can have mine. But instead I passed the buck and told him to come back with a CV on Wed. I wont be there.
6:03- biked home in less that two minutes and groaned for 45 seconds while shoving my face into the couch.

The rest of the day I spend walking in circles around the store, or leaning on things or tidying up boxes or just avoiding customers. I also make lists.